HERMANOS GUZANOS - "Out Of The Past, And Into The Future"

 

Let's get the Hell out of the past, and into the future on this eve of the year 2024.

Here's a look at what some of our tapes from the 80's and 90's might have looked like if we had made them today.

To start with, this is how "Sleaze Weasels," one of our very first tapes could have turned out!

 

I love this version of "Bombs From Heaven," and this is one of the rare ones where everything got spelled correctly!

 

"Pancho's Arena" was originally made in about 1986.

 

Maybe instead of our first multi-track tape having a brilliant drawing like this by Brian James Riedel....

.......We might have gone with something simpler like this!

1988 was the year we brought out "Too Close To The Kitty."

 

Our "X-13" tape from 1989 featured '13 Cuts From Beyond.'

So that's about half of them, maybe I'll get around to the other half sometime next year!

In the meantime, if you want to check it out, the music from all these tapes is now on Bandcamp deconstructed and reconstructed.

HERMANOS GUZANOS ON BANDCAMP!

JOHN BARTLES - "Music Licked Clean By Dirty Crows In The Moonlight" (1990)

 So that brings us to the 13th and final day of this countdown, and John's tape released in 1990 called "Music Licked Clean By Dirty Crows In The Moonlight." 

 

 Later in the 2000's, John put this song I'm about to give you on a CD by Joe Shmoe called "The Shmoe Must Go On."

 

This song featured me playing the bass, and Gary Wray playing guitar, and of course, John Bartles doing the vocals. It's a playful little ditty about the mating habits of washing machines titled

JOHN BARTLES - "Washin' Machines"

So there you go, I hope you enjoyed the 13 days of John Bartles! With only four days left until X-Mas, the good news is that you still have time to get those dirty clothes washed!!

JOHN BARTLES - "The End Of The Nuclear Age" (1989)

 

The 12th festive Day is here, and the gift is the John Bartles tape from 1989 entitled "The End Of The Nuclear Age." All the artwork on John's tapes was done by John himself.

 

Thirty-four years later, here's how A-I and I see it!

 

The song I chose here is another one that was used on my "Refried Dreams" comp tape and it is called....

JOHN BARTLES - "Unmanned Fly In Orbit"

JOHN BARTLES - "No Motiff" (1990)

 

The 11th Day of this celebration brings the gift of this 1990 cassette release by John Bartles titled "No Motiff."

 

This song called "Nine Mile 1" was later released on a CD by John called "Myths and Legends of Western New York sometime in the 2000's.

 

This absolutely killer song features John on Vocals, Ethan Lyons on Sax, Jack Bosarge on the Drums, Gary Holt on Bass, and Dale Deluekid on Guitar.

JOHN BARTLES - "Nine Mile One"

JOHN BARTLES - "Erie Niagara Noir" (2005)

 

The 10th day of John Bartles stuff reveals the abstract free jazz side of John's music, and his ability to step aside and let the musicians do whatever the Hell they want to. I just realized I dipped into this release a couple of years ago and a song called "The Sphinx." This however is something completely different.

 

John can put vocals over anything so there's no need for restraint, and he can call it something like "Erie Niagara Noir."

 

Here's a very short instrumental piece featuring Todd Whitman on Saw and Friction Devices, joined by Mike Hermanson on Trombone.

JOHN BARTLES - "Inst. Segue # 1"

JOHN BARTLES - "Tasteless Offensive Political Cartoon" (1990's)

 

On the ninth day of this John Bartles celebration we have a CD he made called "Tasteless Offensive Political Cartoon," probably from about 1995.

Here's the new version!

I have no idea what's going on here, but I guess it's pretty tasteless and offensive!

 

Sometimes you just can't win.

This song can also be found on John's release "Born To Lick Salt" and features J. Hobbs on Drums, and T. Mosher on Bass. 

JOHN BARTLES - "Hopelessly Hetereosexual"

BUD KING & THE DIODE TRIO - "Live Bait" (1990's)

 

On the 8th day of John Bartles, Bud King and the Diode Trio decided to show up again with nine songs on a release he called "Live Bait."

 

The Diode Trio consisted of The Marvelous #1 and The Marvettes, Keyless Chuck, Big Dick Drummond, Thing I & Thing II, Lester S. Moore.......

 

 ..........and of course, the one and only Bud King!

 

"Hoist Your Own Petard!"

BUD KING & THE DIODE TRIO - "It's All About You"

JOHN BARTLES - "Elephany" (1990's)

 

So what's this now, the 7th day of John Bartles, and his CD release called "Elephany."

Like many of John's CDs, this one has a lot of songs on it that were previously on other CDs, or maybe this is the first CD they were on, and were later released on other CDs. It doesn't really matter. 

 

I talked with John night before last to make sure he was good with these modern images, and he said that he didn't care, so here's an A-I take on "Elephany" that's pretty cool.

 

This song is just simply classic, and features Andy McFarland working his magic on the piano again, and of course John's voice and words.

JOHN BARTLES - "The Alphabet Song"

JOHN BARTLES - "Bass Turd" (1990's)

 

On the 6th day of John Bartles I present this to thee, a fanciful "Not Recommended For Sale To Individuals Under 50 Years Of Age" CD, titled "Bass Turd."

 

If this CD was released today, the cover might look like this, or maybe not!

The 9th song on this CD is called "Raccoons In The Chimney," and features the keyboard skills of Andy McFarland, and the vocal talents of John.

JOHN BARTLES - "Raccoons In The Chimney"

JOHN BARTLES - "Liar" (1990's)

 

On the 5th day of some year John Bartles sent to me, a CD titled "LIAR."

 

 

The second song on this disc was titled "Vampire State Express" and featured Vocals by John, Drums by J. Smay, Bass by Mick Sarubbi, and playing Guitar is Aleks Disljancovic.

JOHN BARTLES - "Vampire State Express"

JOHN BARTLES - "Mono-cellular Sing-along" (1990's)

 

On the fourth day of X-Mas, John Bartles's "Mono-cellular Sing-Along showed up, and what a 'Linguistica Teratologica Illogica' it was.

 

"Dedicated to Everyone who is still Alive!!"

 

Abnormal and Illogical Language!

 

 JOHN BARTLES - "I Want My Bees Please"

JOHN BARTLES - "Topless & Bottomless" (1990's)

 

On the third day of John Bartles, my true love gave to me, a "Topless & Bottomless "CD,"for discriminating LADIES And GENTLEMEN" only.

 

JOHN BARTLES - "Let's Run In A Pack " 

BUD KING AND THE DIODE TRIO - "Rodeo Radio" (1990's)

 

On the second day of John Bartles, my true love gave to me, a "Rodeo Radio" Bud King and the Diode Trio CD!

 

Bud King is just one of the many alter-egos of John Bartles. and while this image is pretty cool, it probably doesn't look like either one of them!

 

It's just bad, you know!

 

A man and his horse, is this the real Bud King?

BUD KING & THE DIODE TRIO - "Makes Me Feel Like Drinkin"

JOHN BARTLES - "21 Stories About Broads And Their Special Allure To The Opposite Sex" (1990's)

Everybody knows about the twelve days of X-mas, so I think it's about time to start a new tradition, the thirteen days of John Bartles.

 

On the first day of X-mas my true love gave to me, a raunchy John Bartles CD.

 

I've been playing around with this free A-I program, and this was one of the images I got when I put "21 Stories About Broads" into it. Just slightly different from John's original cover.

 

The song I chose off this CD  titled "Top Knot Baby" was originally on John's "Flat Animal" cassette and was also a song John let me use on the "Refried Dreams" various artists compilation tape I produced in the 1990's.

JOHN BARTLES - "Top Knot Baby"

JOE SHMOE...AND THE CRAPULOUS SNIGGLERS - "Piss On It"

 

This CD by Joe Shmoe...And The Crapulous Snigglers was titled "Piss On It!"

Joe never puts dates on these things, but this CD is probably from the mid-90's, and it does come with a warning that's it's "Unsuitable For Listening By Anyone Of Any Age."

I don't know why he thinks so, I've heard a lot worse. I'll have to ask him the next time I talk to him.

Come to your own conclusions!

JOE SHMOE...AND THE CRAPULOUS SNIGGLERS - "Vomitus Rex"